Search for Success

Search for Success

My search for success continues. I have been at it since i graduated from high school. So I have had this nagging my search for success
urge for a few months to produce and make new things from all the bits and pieces lying around my house. I am an entrepreneur through and through, always coming up with new ideas and yet always faced with the same dilemma – lack of money. The number one barrier I run into is having no money to make my ideas a reality. My intention with this blog is to be brutally honest and in doing so I may just be able to help someone else that is in a similar situation to me. I am not going to tell you how “successful” I am because I do not see myself as successful, yet! That is a work in progress. I am a very skilled person as I am sure many of you out there are. I am also a risk taker, I think differently to the majority of people out there and I do things differently. I used to think  this was a bad thing but in recent months I have come to learn that my differences may just be my greatest asset. The biggest personal struggle that I face on a daily basis is believing in myself. I have constant negative thoughts about myself and my abilities. Past failures haunt me so much that I am almost afraid to try anything new. I am now 32 years old. I am pretty sure that I should have made a success of my life by now but it didn’t work out that way. In the present moment I have my entire life ahead of me. I do not intend to reach 42 and still be where I am now, so best I get moving.

One of my latest ideas is to sell all my stuff, get a campervan and travel freely with my two dogs around South Africa. My idea extends as far as travelling up through Africa into Europe. This idea excites me beyond words. I happened to mention this idea to a work colleague. I was rather taken aback by his response of “I could think of nothing worse”. I looked at him in shock and horror wondering if I had heard wrong, I even repeated “nothing worse?” to make sure I had heard him correctly.  He then said “yes, it’s crazy, you’d get raped and murdered”! That was another defining moment for me when I saw again how different I am. What I see as an adventure of fun, freedom and fulfillment to others would be a crazy idea! The story of my life! So the only barrier between me and my camper van adventure is money (I need campervan) and some cash to beep me going along the way. So this is now on my list of to do’s.

So far in my 32 years of existence I have had numerous ideas and started many projects most of which he failed for various reasons. After leaving school I wanted to become a photographer but never had the money to put myself through photography school. I decided to take a gap year and flew to England,  I was 18 going on 19. I sold my car to pay for the air ticket and landed in London a week later. I had absolutely no plan and no fear. I learned later that my spur of the moment travel and flying to the unknown was not something that anyone would do. Being young and naive i didn’t last long in that big city and soon found myself back in South Africa. I went on to study music (I could get a student loan for this) and four years later I graduated with a Bachelor of Music degree. I then went back k to England to try make it in music or sound engineering but had no experience in the industry and ended up working in a coffee shop called Cafe Nero. I met some amazing people that I am still friends with today. Again I missed South Africa and back I came. Since I returned this is what I have done and or attempted to do:

  1. I became a sound engineer and have worked on and designed sound for a number of shoes. I recently won a Durban Mercury Theatre Award for that. Very nice to be recognised.
  2. I started a clothing brand that cost me a lot of money and amounted to nothing but two loyal customers that still ask if I am making Muzo clothing. I did become a graphic designer in the process and even got a job offer in graphic design although I have no formal qualification.
  3. I am an artist and love painting. I thought I’d try sell my paintings but found that although people raved about them no one actually wanted to buy them.
  4. I started a band that went from being called Luck Lagoon to Brass Rock (we were meant to become famous and take over the world of music). Not everyone in the band had the same idea and so it failed. We wrote and recorded some pretty awesome music though and the band did see a lot of talent come and go.
  5. I decided to start making and selling my chilli sauce but couldn’t afford the start up costs at the time. I am rethinking this at the moment.
  6. I tried making homemade liquid soap, that failed dismally and turned into thick unusable sludge.
  7. I decided to start importing watches from China,  ordered a few to test but they took 3 months to arrive (our post offices were striking at the time). Can’t start a business that relies on the postal system in SA so that never amounted to anything.
  8. I’ve worked on a cruise liner as an audio engineer and travelled extensively in Alaska and the Caribbean.
  9. I then met a friend that introduced me to the world of Web design and off I went on a tangent to make my millions online. I did become very knowledgeable on Web design and can build beautiful websites but have yet to make money from them. My websites include this website, www.awesomeluxurygifts.com, www.stephaniepaismusic.com, www.bantingchocolate.com, www.musicmap.co.za, and I own a few other domain names that I have future plans for.
  10. I bought a business called Music Map that showcases live music events around South Africa. I bought it under the premise that it was making money when actually I found many of the advertiser felt forced to advertise and when spoken too could not wait to get out. I am still mulling this over and trying to come up with a way to make it into a functioning business.
  11. I decided to become a solo musician and make popular trumpet driven music. I co wrote and produced two albums in a year that were very well received by the few hundred people that I managed to get my music in front of. The albums were aptly named ANOTHER WORLD and BREAKING FREE. I went busking and did everything in my power to make a success of this but the money just never came in and I had to look elsewhere to survive.
  12. My embarking on a solo career nurtured my longing to become a great song writer. I still record song ideas when they come to me and write music on my tablet when the opportunity arises. When I can figure out how to make a great living doing this that is how I will live out my days. Composing music😁
  13. Over the years I have also become a very successful trumpet teacher, although I do not find this as rewarding as I used to and only teach a select few as a service to society.
  14. I attempted to start a CDS duplication business but failed again because of start up costs and lack of interest from the public.
  15. I played trumpet for local theatre shows and our national orchestra on a few occasions.
  16. My recent ideas include a Facebook page called CUSTOM DESIGN HOUSE that I created for myself and my two siblings to showcase all our artistic creations. We are all very creative individuals and I find both my siblings very inspiring. Who better to create art with.
  17. I recently got involved in network marketing which I am still working at. This industry has great potential for financial freedom given one put in the hard work and have a very thick skin!

Despite all that I have done, I am at this time of writing as broke as a church mouse. I live from day to day and am in debt up to my eyeballs. I find it a constant struggle to stay positive and happy, while ideas still flow freely the pressures of life knock them back constantly. I know very well that I am responsible for my own happiness and success in life and that is why I am writing this. I figured that getting it all down on paper may give me the ability to view my life from a more exterior viewpoint and perhaps spot a few things before. Also I need to blog about something that I am truly passionate about and I am truly passionate about my life and making a success of it and so I will share my life experiences, successes and failures along the way as i search fpr teh success that i so long for. I like to give off a positive image to others but let’s face it and generally put on a happy face despite what I am going through internally. Life is not always pleasurable and easy, in fact it can be pretty crap and downright dreadful at times. What is important is that we get up and get on with it each time we’ll get knocked down! Sometimes this takes me days but I always get up in the end and try again. So my search for success continues.

If you happened to stumble across this blog and it has hit home in some way I’d really like to hear your story. Write something in the comments section and let’s connect.

Till next time,

Steph xxx